We love our Mom's
Let me start with Happy Mother's Day! I hope you have a lovely day. One that makes you feel so vital that you decide to celebrate all you do more than once per year. You deserve frequent breaks from the mayhem of childrearing. (More on that to come.)
What did you say?!
We know how we are. We say terrible things to Mom, things anyone else would clock us for. We make her precious gifts in grade school and pretend we don't know her in public as teens. We wouldn't exist without Mom, and she is often brought up as topic number one on many therapists' couches.
You can't win. But don't worry, Mom. We got you.
If you remember anything about the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible, then you know that Eve set the standard for this complicated polarity. Two boys were raised in the same household with two very different outcomes. One son obeyed his parents and worshipped his Maker. The other was a murderer. So, give yourself a break.
You're doing just fine.
Let's move forward by stepping back.
So, how do you incorporate frequent breaks when things have to get done?
You may be thinking. "Kathleen, you never had children. What do you know?"
Valid. But in my defense, I had a mother. I listen to mothers. (You are fascinating!) This is why you steal the show in three of my books, Confidence Quest, "Beachy Keen," and "Glitter and Grief." And I watch you. Don't think I didn't notice when you told me - to my face, mind you - that you hadn't a spare moment as you peered over your tablet in the throes of a Wordle competition.
So we’ll spitball.
You're pushed and pulled between the details of daily life. Cereal dishes left in the sink, soccer uniforms moldering in the laundry basket (if they're lucky enough to get there after a match), schedules that pull everyone in different directions, and planning moments for everyone to celebrate what you already have. (Gather those matching outfits for a fun-filled family photo day at the beach. Beautiful!)
Time for you seems as out of reach as the million dollars you planned to make by thirty.
But, the thing is, you probably have time. Granted, only a little on any given day. But we don't always need much to keep our proverbial cups full.
🥤
Picture this. You've just gotten the kids on the bus. The following six hours are booked. Work, chores, work and chores, it's all in there. Not a moment to spare.
Are you sure? No one is tugging at the hem of your sweater, and no one needs their nose wiped. You have coffee. You have feet. Why not take a stroll? Take five minutes to use your five senses. Does the coffee taste bitter? Does the air smell like anything? The season, the ocean, or campfire smoke? Are the birds active? You can cross off sight and sound. Now, scan your body. What aches? What doesn't?
As you near the end of the walk, ask yourself, do you feel different?
It's a small thing—so small that you might poo-poo the simple activity. But I bet, given a chance, you'll find that the habit of breaking the rush-rush mentality trickles into other areas of life.
Let's talk tech.
How often do you grab your phone when no one is around to bug you for a meal, ride, or homework help? Yes, you get to zone out and forget about life for a moment, and why shouldn't you?
You should. But are you doing it conscientiously or just reaching for the nearest "fix?" Does scrolling help prevent you from worrying about what other patients are in for or talking to you in the doctor's office? What if you tried a moment of mindful breathing or counting ceiling tiles? The first you can do with your eyes closed and the second by averting your gaze. Interaction avoided. But both bring you into the now in a relaxed way. Not the blue light, bells, and whistles of the internet, but a grounding - banal, yes, but not bad - me moment.
How about late afternoon, when the kids settle in to do their homework, and you're scratching your head over what to make for dinner? Are you mindlessly taking bites out of everything you pull from the refrigerator? You need energy. Breakfast was dry toast eaten on the fly, and lunch was a waist-watching salad. You need food!
You most assuredly do. All you need is five minutes. Put what you want on a plate, and sit down. Taste and chew the food. Eating with purpose is a tasty me moment you richly deserve.
As you can see, the key is to be fully present when we're recharging. Distractions force the brain to switch gears and make unnecessary decisions, which tires you out more.
We love you, Mom!
You work hard. You worry like an Olympian. And you love, like... Well, like a mother. And no one does it better.
Yours is the world's most critical job. We need you at peak performance. So take good care today and every day of your life—if not for yourself, then for your children. Because when you prioritize yourself, you teach your daughters and sons how to do it for their future selves.
